The tears of the weeping elf child statue, which belonged at the top of the fountain, had ceased at last. Dotted amongst the brown was pallid stone rubble. Its shallow pool was stagnant, piles of brown festering in mildewing green liquid. The fountain at the center no longer trickled with water. The blooms lay withered, scattered and turned to dust, their once-white petals a sickly shade of yellowish brown, smooth blooms turned coarse and wrinkled. The rose bushes that surrounded the enclosed circular area were torn, ripped, trodden, and plucked. My touch had come to the garden before me. I gripped the small iron handles, the material of my sleeves guarding the cold metal from my touch, and pulled. The stream of light that trickled from the familiar crack in the garden door called the darkness a liar. The darkness inside the foyer tried to deceive me into thinking night had fallen. I pulled my sleeves over my wrists and propped both elbows against the door, pushing until it gave way. He was strong-willed, and he wouldn’t crumble at the prospect of freedom.

But I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was responsible for whatever destruction I’d find in this place.

I felt like if I touched it, the entire castle might crumble. My feet dragged me forward.Īt the grand wooden door, I raised a fist to knock.īut I stopped. My legs, unused to such steady footing while in the sight of the lord’s castle, twitched in anticipation of a fall that never came. I reached the black, towering fortress that had for so long shaken and screamed at the power of my glance.įor the first time in this lifetime, I stared up at it, and nothing moved. Glowing pools would never again tempt me. Only, it’s not much of a secret anymore, is it? The one that pointed to the secret cavern. I headed down the familiar dirt path beneath the lattice of trees overhead, pausing beside the bush with a partially snapped stem that jutted outward like a broken limb. I wanted to hope, even if I wasn’t sure I was allowed. What did I hope to find? Did I truly believe I could hear him call me-that he’d want to call me? Yes, I did. But goddess or not, powerless or powerful, my feet were taking me someplace I wasn’t sure I wanted to go. When I discovered there was so much more to my life than love and hate, that those around me were just pawns in a game whose rules I’d unwittingly put in place, I discovered I was a long-forgotten goddess. When I thought I understood real friendship, I was a long-lost queen.

Nobody's Pawn by Amy McNulty